


Trust Me

by Aspiration_Feed



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Emo af, F/M, I guess i should say erwin is freshly 18 and sophie is 16 in this story, angsty af, teenage angst, teenage soldier erwin is needy, this girl is not making it easy for our boy erwin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-25 13:55:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14978573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspiration_Feed/pseuds/Aspiration_Feed
Summary: Days after being left outside the walls, will Erwin and Sophie be able to cope with the experience?





	Trust Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm terrible at writing summaries. This is what happened after they returned home, a continuation of my story Chaotic

Sophie sat on the edge of the roof, leaning back on her hands as she admired the stars above her.

She had so many thoughts racing through her head. It was only a week ago that she was trapped outside the walls, she was trapped out there with him. 

She breathed in as she closed her eyes and remembered the hardships they faced together, smiling as her mind wandered back to that night. 

She had been avoiding him since they got back to the headquarters. She had convinced herself that what happened between them was an adrenaline fueled night of passion.

'Just protecting myself' she thought. Couldn't let him get under her skin, couldnt let anyone get too close. 

"Hey, Sophie" a voice softly called out. She whips her head around to see Erwin, the last person she wanted to see. He looked nervous, she noted before turning back to face the forest. 

"Hey" she replied. No getting out of this one. She heard him approaching, his boots crunching on the stone roof. "May I?" She nods to this and he sits beside her staring at the same forest. 

He turns to look at her, searching for anything in her face before speaking again. "Sophie is everything okay?" 

She sighs loudly, but he continues to wait for an answer, picking at the ODM straps on his thighs. 

"It's just...." she struggles to find words, swallowing hard and squishing her hands together. He can see her discomfort and places his hand over hers making her look up at him.

"I haven't even seen you since we got back, I mean besides the meetings with Commander Shadis" he says, trying not to let the hurt come out in his voice. 

Sophie nods "I know" staring down at their hands together. "You've been purposely avoiding me then?" She nods again, now it's his turn to sigh. 

"Why?" He asks, running his thumb across the top of her hand. She closes her eyes at his touch. "Because of this" she says jerking her hands away from his. 

He sheepishly brings his back to his own lap "Do you regret that things happened between us?" He says quietly. This time she shakes her head "No. It's just that I..." she tries to say, unable to put what she's feeling into words.

He stares at her, trying to think of what to say but he's just growing more frustrated, why can't she just say what she means? 

"Sophie just tell me what you want to say" he snapped at her. Seeing the expression on her face he immediately regretted taking that tone with her. "I'm sorry" he says softer, rubbing his hand on her shoulder. 

"I just don't want to get too close to anyone. Where I'm from it's too dangerous, nobody can be trusted. I let my guard down around you when we were out there..." 

Erwin is slightly taken aback by this, he wasn't expecting her to be so honest about it. "So you're saying you don't want to get close to me because you think I'll hurt you?" 

She glances down at his hand still on her shoulder. "You make it sound so simple, but you have no idea the horrors I had to go through down there. I didn't know that it wasn't normal to grow up like that until I came above ground" she lets out a sob and quickly covers her mouth with her hand. "The things I've had to do...that I was made to do.."

Erwin wraps her in his arms and tries to comfort her the best he can. "You don't have to talk about it, I understand that you have your reasons. I won't push you or make you do anything you don't want to do" he runs his hand gently across her hair. 

"Sorry you don't need to hear this. This is what I mean" she chokes out. "Sophie" she looks up at him through damp eyes "I just want to be here for you. I know we dont know each other that well but I want to get to know you"

She stares at the collar of his uniform, debating in her head if she really can trust him. She's annoyed at how comfortable she feels around him, worried if her attraction is clouding her judgment. He could be just like the rest of them. 

He bites his lip waiting for her to say something, anything. She's not pulling away from him so that's a good sign. It feels like hours to him before she speaks again. "Okay" she sniffled before wiping her eyes. 

Erwin grins proudly before he gently presses his lips to hers. She doesn't reciprocate at first but within minutes they are breathlessly taking each other in. When they pull apart Sophie looks off to the side, almost ashamed. 

"I didn't mean like that" she says before moving to stand up. Erwin stays where he is, glancing up "I'm sorry I thought.." she waves off his sentence before saying "I'm not sure it's a good idea to get involved" he stands up to join her "We don't have to, we can be friends if you like" he cautiously says. As much as he would like to pursue her, he will respect her wishes even if it kills him inside. 

He gulps as she weakly smiles at him "Yeah friends" 

 

...

 

The next morning Sophie is grabbing her tray of food at the mess hall. Most people would find the rations to be disappointing but she savoured every bite, this is good eating compared to what they had in the underground. She glances over the room looking for a spot to sit when she sees Erwin  wave at her. She decides to join him for the first time since they got back from the expedition. 

She opts to sit beside Mike instead of him, which makes Mike shoot a look at him. Fortunately Mike was the only one who knew what had happened between them, he is not the kind for gossip so she knew it would stay between them. She made him promise not to even mention that he knew to Erwin. Though it seemed that Erwin had already confided in him. 

"So are you two friends now?" He says sniffing the air between them. Sophie laughs and gives him a light smack "We were never not friends, Mike stop sniffing it's so creepy"

He rolls his eyes at this before biting into his bread. "I'm sure whatever it is between you will blossom soon" he moves to put his arms around Sophie and Erwin making them both blush furiously. 

"Mike stop, we are friends" Erwin laughs, shaking Mikes heavy arm off of him. "Mhmm" Mike says nonchalantly as he goes back to his meal. Sophie and Erwin exchange looks before digging into their own. 

 

...

 

"Come in" a deep voice says. Erwin and Sophie silently walk in and both take seats in front of Commander Shadis' desk. They've been in here a few times since their return that they know the routine. They both sit up straight waiting for him to say anything.

The air in the room is stale, Sophie had a feeling this meeting would be different than the others, there were new officers here from the interior and they were all staring them down. She tried her best to push the heavy feeling in her chest away but to no avail. She glanced over to Erwin who appeared to be completely calm and collected. If he was feeling the same as her he certainly didn't show it. 

"I want you to go over what happened out there with me again" Shadis finally said, looking at them both. 

"Sir, I believe we've told all that we can about it" Sophie blurts out, bracing herself for his reaction. 

"Yes, and now I'd like to have it on record. You've been back for a week, have had time to recuperate and may remember more details about what happened"

Sophie nods, tightening her grip on the arms of the chair. She hated being noticed by anyone in authority, even if they meant no I'll will. In her experience they all had something dark lurking inside. 

Erwin seems to notice her discomfort and speaks up on her behalf. "Sir, we were riding out in formation before a titan came in from behind. I managed to take it down but not long after more came from every direction. I fought against as many as I could but ended up with an injury that knocked me out. I came to when Sophie found me and we found no other survivors"

The Commander nodded as one of the officers was writing down his statement. "And you, what is your version?" He stares at her, a king her squirm in her seat. 

She clears her throat "I saw Erwin take down the first titan he had mentioned, before I knew it there were more. I managed to fight one and by the time I took it down I realized that everyone was gone. I couldnt find any horses, I was running to try to find anyone else, I feared the worst until I heard Erwin and helped him get up" 

"What did you do after that?" 

"I climbed a tree sir" 

"For what reason?" 

"I wanted to see if I could find the rest of our regiment, I couldn't see anything from my point of view so I decided to try to run for the wall. Then I found Erwin" 

"So you found him before or after you climbed that tree?" 

"After, Sir" she gulped, realizing she made it sound like she changed her story. 

Commander Shadis looked over at Erwin expectantly. 

"She told me that she had climbed the tree already and was planning on running to the wall. I decided it was the best plan we had, since we had no flares between us, and followed her plan, Sir" 

Shadis hummed and leaned back in his chair. "How long did it take you to get to the wall on foot?" 

"Two nights and three days Sir. We arrived at the wall on the third night" Erwin answered. 

"We didn't see you until the fourth day, why didn't you come the rest of the way back to base?" 

Sophie's eyes, darted over to Erwin and back quickly. She hoped Shadis didn't notice. She did not want to admit the real reason they did not return immediately, she hoped Erwin would come up with an explanation.

"We made it back exhausted, the adrenaline rush had left and the days we spent running had caught up with us. We could not move on so we found an Inn that had an opening" 

Sophie almost held her breath at that point. That was not the kind of explanation she hoped he would give, in fact it was almost an admission of what they did. 

Shadis leaned forward "And how did you pay for it?" Completely ignoring the implication. 

"Sir, I am a bit ashamed to say that I did use my military status to get a room. I promised to return to pay for the it, which I did the day after we returned to base" Erwin replied confidently.

Shadis looks to Sophie who is doing her very best to stay composed. He locks eyes with her, seemingly enjoying the discomfort it brought her. "And you?" He says. 

"What did you think of freeloading off the public?" He finishes. Erwin visibly stiffens in his chair. "I...um.. I don't believe we could have finished our journey back to base had we not gotten the proper rest, Sir. By returning the next day we were able to-" 

Shadis puts his hand up "I don't ever want to hear about any more of my soldiers freeloading off of innkeepers. I received a letter of complaint about the noise coming from the room. I don't think I need to tell you what the complaints were about" 

The officer writing paused at this, looking to Shadis for confirmation. "Not this part" he quickly says before turning back to the pair in front of him. "It is an embarrassment to this regiment that this has happened. I have never heard of such a thing happening and frankly I am disappointed"

Sophie's eyes were wide and she felt like she was sinking backwards in her chair, Erwin had a faint red across his face from this accusation, but his gaze did not betray him.

"I'm deeply sorry Sir, I promise you that it will never happen again" Erwin replied with a shaky voice. 

Sophie opens her mouth to apologize as well but Shadis beats her to it. "Now there is nothing stopping you from having a relationship in the military, but I do not want to ever hear about it or see it. Even better if you break it off now, in this regiment it is foolish to think anything will come of it" 

Erwin and Sophie glance at each other. "Agreed Sir" Sophie meekly says. She is upset that she is being scolded for being in a relationship despite that she had rejected him only just last night. She was horrified that Shadis knew that they had been together. She was mortified that it was brought up in front of other officers. 

"I would like to also apologize. It was unprofessional and I will take any punishment you see fit" she says looking down at the desk in front of her. 

Shadis laughs at this. "I think we've all had our moments of weakness while in the military" the other officers nodded. "We just have kept it under wraps, unlike you two" 

Sophies face heats up at this and she shifts in her seat uncomfortably. "You will have stable duty for a month" Shadis says, standing up. "You are dismissed" he says. 

Relieved Sophie and Erwin stand up to leave. "Not you, Erwin" Shadis says. Sophie gives Erwin a worried look before she salutes and exits the room. 

 

...

 

Sophie cringes when she hears the tell tale loud sniffs coming from behind her. 

"How did that meeting go?" Mike asks walking beside her as she makes her way through the courtyard. The sun is shining down and it's so bright she has to hold her hand in front of her face. "I have never been so embarrassed in my life" 

This piques Mikes interest. "Why? What did he say?" Sophie groans as she stops, turns to see if anyone is near them. "Shadis knows. Apparently that Inn we stayed at the night we arrived back sent a letter of complaint to him about the 'noise level'" she whispers to him. 

Mike immediately tilts his head back and laughs at this. Sophie crosses her arms and angrily stares at him. "It's not fucking funny Mike. He basically told us we need to break it off. We don't even have anything to break off but I wasn't about to tell him that. He made Erwin stay behind at his office. Who knows what he's asking him" She throws up her arms in frustration. 

"Maybe since he thinks your already together you should just be together" Mike offers. She gives him an annoyed look "Are you fucking kidding?" He shrugs "It's pretty obvious, when you two weren't talking I kept seeing you both looking at each other, it was sweet really" he says pulling his hands up and sighing dramatically. 

Sophie rolls her eyes and gives him a shove. "I don't see you denying it" he teases. 

 

...

 

 "Fuck" Sophie mutters as she tries to tighten the cloth around her nose and mouth. The smell is unbearable, and it's making her eyes water. She is regretting telling Shadis she'll take any punishment. Shovelling a scoop of horse shit she quickly flings it into the bucket, moving it only seems to make it smell worse. 

"Hey" a voice says with a slight laugh. Bringing her gaze up, she sees Erwin with a smirk on his face. She exhales, not really knowing what to say. She leans the shovel against the wall and grabs Erwins arm as she walks out behind the stable, pulling the cloth down around her neck. 

"So what did Shadis want with you?" She whispers to him. He licks his lips and looks upward, appearing to suppress a laugh. Sophie motions at him to answer. 

He puts his fingers on his chin. "Can you believe he said he sees me becoming a future Commander?" Sophie blinks in surprise. "He said the reason he's so disappointed is that he wants to train me to one day take over" he finishes, grinning now.

"So...you want to become the Commander one day?" He nods "All my life I just wanted answers, if I become Commander I can get them. I joined this regiment with those intentions" he's beaming now. 

He brings his hand up to her chin, grazing it with his fingers. "I didn't correct him when he assumed we were together" she closes her eyes to feel his touch. He's still smiling at her before he brings himself closer. 

He whispers in her ear "I hope I didn't overstep my bounds by doing that" she nearly shivers from the heat of his breath. He lingers in that spot as if waiting for her to do something. She nervously giggles "No, you didn't" he stands back up straight with a smirk. "So I do have a chance" he ponders out loud.

Sophie laughs before she moves to go back to her task. "Okay then loverboy, I have to try to finish this before the days over" she pats his chest as she walks past him. "This is both of our punishment you know" he says as he follows her. "You're stuck with me for a month" he says matter of factly.

"Great, now get shovelling" she says as she pushes a shovel into his hands. 

 

...

 

 "Why are you so afraid?" Mike asks.

Sophie licks her lips, thinking about all the hardships she's faced, unwilling to add to the collection of trauma. She must have a look of worry etched on her face because Mike stops walking and puts his hands on her shoulders. She still doesn't make eye contact with him, looking anywhere but at him. 

"I'm not afraid" she says barely audibly, trying to shake Mike's hands off of her. "Then why won't you give him a chance?" She frowns at this. "It's not about him" 

Mike groans loudly as he removes his hands, covering his face with them before peeking between his fingers at her. "It's been months and it feels like your just keeping him at arms length and stringing him along. If you don't want him, just tell him" 

Sophie closes her eyes and bites at her lip to keep the annoyance at bay. She is so tired of Mike bringing this up. "I'm not stringing him along, I told him from the beginning that-"

"Your actions say otherwise" Mike cuts in making Sophie give him an angered look. "You two are my good friends, I just want you to either get together or just stop this dance" 

Before Sophie could open her mouth to reply, he was already down the path. She looked up at the clouds and wondered to herself. 'Have I been unfair to Erwin?'

 

...

 

Sophie picks at the worn leather of her boots, the scuff marks becoming more apparent every week. She brings her knees up to her chin as she looks up at the stars. She's really loved coming up to the roof of the headquarters since she's arrived. Its quiet, she can see the stars, and nobody knows she comes up here except for him.

Her mind drifts to him again, since her talk with Mike she's been thinking about her interactions with Erwin. Becoming disappointed in herself when she realizes that she has been leading Erwin on with no intentions of reciprocating his feelings. 

She knew she felt the same way about him but couldnt bare to open herself up to him. She wanted to, she wanted to feel what it was like to love someone and be loved. Her heart has been so closed off she wasn't even sure if she could love someone.

She considered telling Erwin what she had to endure underground and why she is the way she is, but she was worried he might think differently of her. Thoughts and ideas flooded her mind as she dug her chin into her knees, eyes pensive while her nails dug into her legs. 

She didn't know someone had joined her on the roof until he was crouched beside her with a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and decided then that she had made her choice. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly the whole Inn things was meant to be funnier but?? You know


End file.
